Energetic Boundaries – How to Navigate Boundaries During the Holidays
The most wonderful time of the year can also be the most challenging time of the year when it comes to navigating you energetic boundaries.
Often times, family members will smash right on through without a second thought either because they don’t know your boundaries or because you’ve not enforced them as well as you could.
First off, let’s forgive ourselves for THAT.
Not everyone was taught healthy boundaries growing up and not everyone has been empowered to speak and say their boundaries. So if you’ve ever had a problem with enforcing your boundaries in the past it’s time to let it go.
Starting This Holiday Season Right
What are your boundaries?
Let’s start by getting really clear on what your boundaries are. If you have not firmly laid out your lines then it will be more difficult to speak in the moments when others are getting too close for comfort.
Boundaries can be a simple as, ” I don’t feel like hugging everyone at this gathering.”
or it can be, ” Political opinions are too much for me right now so I won’t participate in those discussions.”
Or even, ” I am only responsible for my feelings and actions, not others’.”
- Take a few minutes the week before a holiday gathering and get super clear and specific on your boundaries.
- Brainstorm ways to set and enforce your boundaries confidently.
- Be kind but firm.
Be Firm But Kind
Growing up I was taught the phrase “Be gracious.” It was repeated often enough by my grandmother that it kind of became a small joke just before everyone arrived.
But what my grandmother was trying to say to me only became clear years later when I became an adult.
Being gracious was not about being a doormat or letting people be mean or say and do whatever they wished.
It was about being kind and giving grace to others even when they are not doing the same.
It was about firmly and kindly reminding other’s of my boundaries and giving them the benefit of the doubt that they meant to cross my line.
I won’t lie sometimes people do intentionally try to cross us and make us mad.
But for the most part? What people do and say is less about you and more about them.
What people do and say is about them and not about you.
They speak and act from their own perspective and their own lens and their own pain points.
Truthfully? The holidays may be just as hard for them as it is for us.
So be gracious, state that something isn’t okay, and move forward.
Energetic and Magickal Boundaries
My philosophy with magick has always been if you do the energetic and physcial work, you magick will manifest.
So if you’ve got the above down, physically stating and setting your boundaries, then this energetic magick part should be a breeze for you.
Visualizing the barrier between you and others can be a very good way to help you reinforce your boundaries.
Some prefer to imagine themselves in a bubble. Other imagine stone castle walls around them. Depending on what speaks to your intuition, you could imagine a hedge as a barrier or a wall of flame as a barrier.
Taking the time to visualize your healthy barrier will put the energy behind manifesting your energetic boundary with others.
I am a person that likes to use a mirror/bubble method for the most part.
When I imagine that a soap bubble with a mirror on the outside I feel more protected and empowered. This also allows me to send back any negativity and lets me feel the most comfortable in social situations.
Since this is a visualization in your mind, you can adjust the image as needed. An “everyday’ boundary for me is the bubble. But if I am walking into a situation where a “stronger” boundary is needed I would use the castle visualization.
There is no one right way to do this method. Whatever imagery you choose, you must believe it and feel it working.
Sachet of Energetic Boundaries
One of my favorite types of magicks is sachet or poppet magick. While it does require some ingredients, they are super cheap and easy to keep on hand for any spellwork I might be doing.
For this sachet, you will need:
- Small cotton bag
- Coffee grounds
- Sugar or Honey
- Lemon (or any citrus)
- Small Quartz Crystal
Gather all your ingredients together and set up any sacred space you like. You can do this spell in the kitchen, your bedroom, or even outside.
I like to start this spell work by lighting a small tea light candle and doing a short (2-5 minute) meditation on what I am creating and how I “see” it working.
This sachet is meant to create healthy, loving boundaries while letting me remain clear of mind and emotions. I “see” in my mind’s eye, myself laughing with others, I let myself be filled with positive emotions and interactions. I build the energy and positivity towards the interactions I will have over the holiday visit.
Once that energy is built, I will combine each ingredient into the cotton bag. You can go in any order you like but I use the order that its listed in.
Once all that is combined, state your intention and tie the bag off with some string.
I will have positive and healthy interactions this holiday visit. I project positive and healthy vibrations.
Keep the sachet in your pocket for the visit and burn or bury it when it is used up.
Having positive and healthy boundaries is not about being a push over for everyone. It’s about not engaging negativity when it comes your way. It is about knowing that others’ actions are not a reflection on you personally.
Most importantly its about giving yourself and others grace on when things don’t go perfectly. Because they don’t. You may have the weird Uncle who insists on the politics or other relative friend who may comment on your choices. Be firm, be kind, and move forward knowing that your boundary is there and that you are safe.